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July 07 From English Teacher to EngineerWhen I was little I wanted to be a writer. But I knew at that age that writers, unless they were amazing, had a hard time making a living. It is for this reason that I made it my second choice to become an English teacher. Nevertheless, I always kept the outlook of "author" right on the edge of my mind. I spent most of my childhood writing stories, poems and on occasion doing illustrations.
The stories were mostly fantasy. I tended to love the idea of a love triangle as well (perhaps a reason that The Phantom of the Opera has always been a personal favorite). Now it sounds strange that at such a young age I was writing corny romantic fantasies....but I suppose I found a joy in it. (Writing fantasy undoubtedly led me into the world of literary classic fantasy. Lord of the Rings. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. His Dark Materials. Harry Potter. In a world of rules, it is nice to be able to escape into one that "doesn't have to make sense".)
If you take a gander over at my occupation, however, you will notice that I am far from the English realm...... I never fully understood what happened to my dream of being a writer or English Teacher until just recently. I was home perusing my baby book when I found a personal autobiography I wrote when I was 12. I couldn't help but chuckle at my remarks about my life (especially those predicting what I would be doing at this precise moment in time!). But something that the document made clear was that I wanted to be a writer.
Interesting how in less than a decade I had a "major career change". The change happened in 9th grade, but three years after I wrote my "autobiography". I had applied to be a member of the journalism group at my school and was turned down. It was not my lack of talent...rather that I didn't have the right "connections" to get in.
I was heartbroken at this loss. Ironically, however, it is at this moment in my life, that I started developing my love for math (despite the fact that I had been good at it for a few years...). Writing (and photography) then became my past time. I persued my new found interest and it is it that I have to blame for my current career choice. A choice that I couldn't be happier with.
Who knows... Perhaps fate played a hand in the shaping of my life. And by now, I do know is that rejection happens a lot in life. It can either make us, or break us. And if "a rejection is nothing more than a necessary step in the pursuit of success"....here is hoping for the best in years to come! April 28 "Enjoying the Smoothies"Firstly, I must tell everyone a big "thanks!" for the birthday wishes! I honestly feel that no word in the english language could properly describe the many events that occurred on that day. Perhaps the closest I could relate the day to would be an extension of the analogy that I mentioned in my previous post. Today was merely the opportunity for me to indulge in a smoothie, with a variety of flavors and feelings that went along with them!
I not only had the opportunity to share this day with my family but close friends as well. And I felt so lucky to be able to share this day with those that are close to me.
When I was a child, I know that this was the last thing that was on my mind. Birthdays usually meant one thing: the party. Who would I invite and what would the "theme" of the party be? Minnie Mouse, Princesses, Disney... This of course always provided a challenge for my mother who thought it was her duty to make the theme-based cake. (And looking back, she actually did quite well!)
Yet now I am slowly reaching the point in which birthdays are more a time to be able to contact and talk to the ones that mean the most in your life. Presents are not required, as a simple "Hi" is the best present in the world. As in the big scheme of things, you are bound to remember the way you felt after a conversation more so than how you felt opening a gift.
And this year I think I can honestly say that nothing could and can compare to the gift of the simple word "Hello". April 25 Moving On UpOkay. It certainly has been awhile since I have been able to properly write an entry or visit your wonderful spaces! But it seems that time is passing faster than I can seem to grasp. Finals and job expectations are seeming to fill every minute of the day that is not spent eating or sleeping. And if anything I am more mentally exhausted than physically exhausted.
This past weekend, though it served as an early birthday celebration, was the ever reminder that life is a blender. One that for brief moments is not moving, and you are enjoying whatever it is that you blended. And other moments in which things are moving and changing so fast. The next two months hold many "new adventures" for me. Not only will yet another year of schooling be over, but two more moves (one out of my current living situation and the other helping my parents move into their new house).
Though new adventures mean new challenges. And surely these next two weeks will be full of them: two finals, closings, moving... But the blender of life is one of "rough times" and of "good times". We just need to hold out long enough to enjoy the smoothie that we are creating. Then when the time comes to enjoy it, not stop, but keeping adding new things to try for the "next go around".
And surely happiness and celebration will find its way somewhere among all of this. Well, for me at least, on Thursday it will...
March 17 A Misfit Am IFrom the day I was born, it could easily be said that I fit the "misfit description". I came into this world with jet-black hair; just what was needed to shock my parents. Though this could be said to be the start of my trip to "misfitdom", there were still several land marks to be reached in years to come.
Even in school I could easily be considered the "smart kid, geek, nerd..." while the rest of my siblings were anything but that. While they were singing in show choirs, I was marching in band and throwing objects (i.e. track and field). Though we had our small similarities, I would always be considered the studious one while they were the spur-of-the-moment type of people.
Funny though how this clash in personalities shaped the very people we would befriend later on in our life. I found that no matter how many times I went to a new school or confronted people in a new area, I always seemed to understand people with similar backgrounds as myself; that of a misfit in the family, being misunderstood, or simply just not fitting "in" all the time...etc. One could even go as far as to say that this was our common ground to initiate the friendship.
It is indeed interesting how many of the friendships that we treasure the most share one thing in common. We are able to relate to the other person more deeply, and obviously this means that somehow we can relate to past experiences that they have had. Through this connection we are able to find strength, comfort and serenity.
However, I think a man that many of you have at least heard of, Thomas Edison, sums up my feelings very well: "I have friends in overalls whose friendship I would not swap for the favor of the kings of the world." February 14 Too Glad to notice it's S.A.D.I have a confession to make. I am single. Often when I confess to this, especially at this time of year, I receive the "Oh, I am so sorry!" or the "Well, then what are your plans for Valentine's Day?". Yet, to me, Valentine's Day isn't something that only a "couple" can celebrate. So often, in reply to such questions I confidently reply: "To keep money in the bank account and enjoy a night of "me" time!".
We sometimes forget that the one person in our life who deserves our love "first" is us! Love is often an emotion that is associated with other people: your friends, family, partner... but shouldn't somewhere, it encompass ourselves?
The way I have always interpreted Valentine's Day was that the whole point of the holiday was to share love. Now, the ways you share this love can be few and far in between, but needn't you possess the love before you even think about sharing it? Afterall, a piece of your heart goes out into whatever act you intend on doing (no pun intended).
I can vividly recall making "Valentine's" during my younger years. A whole Saturday could have easily been dedicated to the craftsmanship of such sacred cards. Yet it seems as we grow older, things become rushed and many of us (not all) are left buying the last minute gifts.
We come into this world with love surrounding us, yet grow up wondering where it could be. Perhaps love does make one blind.... November 22 Leave of AbsenceWith upcoming holiday celebrations here in the US, I was presented with the opportunity to spend a long weekend at home. Now if there is one thing that I am indeed grateful for this time of year, it is that of my family.
When I recall my younger years, I can't help but think how my parents and siblings were the "beacons" in my life. Through the good memories, the bad and of course the "blonde" memories...as I have so uniquely dubbed them. (If you recall the recent dryer story, that is just one of many...)
Mortality is something that is inevitable, so if there is one thing that I am going to try to do, it is enjoy the time I can with my family. Because the day will come, sadly enough, when I won't have these opportunities anymore. So, yes, I will be headed home this weekend. But before I depart, I must wish all of you a good and pleasant week and a fun-filled weekend!
Recently I heard a saying and thought that I may share it with you:
"I knew I would look back at the times I cried and laugh. But I didn't know I would look back at the times I laughed...and cry." November 07 Seeking SerenitySerenity. There are many things in life that can cause us to be in that blissful state of mind. Yet, I find that it is when there is a feeling of balance or stability in our life, that the feeling of "serenity" often comes with it. What causes this feeling of balance though? People, places and perhaps even items can cause this feeling. And even if this feeling isn't always apparent in life, it is something that we all are seeking at one time or another.
About two and a half years ago, I became "Aunt Kelsey". And if there is one thing I can tell you, it is that there is something about young children that can instantly bring that feeling of "serenity" to me. Whether it is that "look of innocence" that they possess, or it is because they literally have "no cares in the world"; whatever it is, there is something about children that can always bring a smile to my face. This then causing that blissful effect.
Yet, although there are many situations that may cause us to obtain this blissful feeling, they can't always be "in reach" every day of our lives. If there is one thing I have learned since moving out of my home, it is that we need to be able to create these blissful moments! Waiting for them is simply not enough. Because if one was forced to wait for those moments to happen, perhaps they would miss them when they presented themselves.
This is understanding of course that we cannot create all of these moments in our life, but that we must take the lead sometimes. Much like the example of a band or choir, even though we have other things present to support us, there will come a time when we will need to take on the solo; not only overcoming fear, but growing from the experiences.
By learning how to create our own serenity, we are not only able to have that state of bliss whenever we would like, but can use it as a fail-safe method when we are having a bad day. Yet, when we find that person in our life that not only brings us bliss, but allows us to create more moments of bliss by ourselves...that right there is indeed rare, something that should forever be treasured.
(The attached pictures are of my nephew. One of the people in my life that allow me to enjoy this blissful state of serenity.) September 25 "What Supports Your Bridge?"I have always thought of life much like that of a bridge.
We are essentially trying to get from one point to another. Although the bridges that I sometimes imagine life to be are anything but straight. Seeing as life is full of "little surprises" and we never know which way our life will turn in the future.
Every bridge however, as most of you probably know, needs a steady way to support itself from the elements. It also needs to be built in a manner that is strong and will last. This is why a lot of bridges today are built with cables of sorts and triangles (they are the strongest shape).
As I thought about this, I have to pose the question of: what are the support structures in our own lives? I would like to say family and friends and be done with my answer. However, I know that this definitely is not the case.
It was after talking to a good friend of mine, that I realized that I tend to hide some of my inner beliefs when this area is concerned. In reality, a lot of my support in life comes from a simple word: 'faith'. By putting my faith in God, I am simply believing that this will be a line of trust in my life--a cable that will hold my bridge up and make it even sturdier. It is this faith that can hold through any storm that my bridge may encounter; and instead of being a torn down bridge--I find myself having a stronger bridge because of the storm.
Perhaps instead of deciding where to build our bridges, we should first look for a support system that will allow us to get there. A support system in which we can put our trust and faith in, even if it is a bit 'risky' at times. Because without the proper support, we would simply be a sunken road. September 10 What makes a 'house' a 'home'?"Kelsey, what would you think if we moved?" This was the question that was posed on me on my most recent trip home.
Now the thought of moving isn't a new one for me. When I was in 5th grade my family made its first big move. Back then I suppose I didn't realize the value of a 'home' and therefore was kind of excited for the move. Excited for it, but dreaded it when I got there. No one tells you when you are that young what happens when you move. New friends, new area and most of all new school.
So when asked this question recently, it really made me stop and think. This is the house I really grew up in. First shy dates, late night talks with my sister and paintball escapades in the backyard. All of these memories were created at this home. Memories that I will truely cherish as I grow older.
It was then that it hit me. As we grow older, life changes. It is something that will forever be inevitable. But as these changes do happen, we will always have our memories there to accompany us on our journey. The whole world could be falling apart around us, but we will forever have these thoughts going through our head. And be able to laugh "about that one time...." We all have a story like that. My usual one starts out: "One day at band camp...", because yes, I have lived through a band camp before!
What makes a 'house' a 'home'? The things that are contained inside. I am not talking about the TV's, the furniture, the food or even the electricity... Your family, and other memories that are created are what counts! I would rather be old with a ton of stories to tell rather than old with an 'unlived' life. September 08 Finding Your FlawFor those of you who aren't already aware, I am without a doubt one of the worst bowlers on the planet. A score that is above 50, is considered a "good day" for me. As bad as that sounds, you must believe what I am telling you is the truth.
So either in an act to avoid further embarrassment, or to get some every other day, I signed up for a bowling class this semester. Within the first few weeks of this class, I never ceased to impress myself with my bad bowling. However, it wasn't until just recently that I discovered what causes me to be known as "Gutter". For those of you who don't know, I threw the discus for 6 years while attending school. Therefore, when anything heavy is put in my right hand, I tend to want to throw it across my body.
Once I figured out that this was infact was my 'flaw' in bowling, I did all that I could to perfect it from happening again. So low and behold, either Lady Luck likes me (which is a total false statement) or I figured out my problem with bowling. With steadfast determination, I can now bowl strikes and spares all the time! I still roll the occasional gutter ball, but a score of 95 is definately better than 50.
The lesson learned here? We, every single one of us, is capable of achieving anything; if we but find our flaw with the goal, and strive to rid ourselves of it. Habits are hard to break yes, but didn't we decide that our thoughts contribute a lot into what we do? So by trying new things, or things we know we can't do well...doesn't that mean that if we think we can do it, we should be able to? I know for me, that statement is true.
Am I going to be the next World Class Bowler? Heavens no! But at least now, I know what causes me to be flawed in the sport, and I can try to fix it everytime I step up to bowl. September 06 Someday My Prince Will ComeWhen I was little, dare I say it, I owned Barbies. Now I wasn't the little girl who "accessorized" their dolls, I was a different type. I would be the one who could play with them for hours; for the mere fact that I created in-depth stories, of which the Barbies were the characters. "Mini-soap operas", if you will.
I was always, and still am in a way, taken up with this idea of 'a damsel in distress'. The fact that when a woman was in serious trouble, there was always 'a knight in shining armor' to rescue her. And what made it more interesting for me is the fact that this 'brave knight' would go through anything to save her.
Call me crazy (I already know I am though), but there is something about romance that just gets me. I can't get enough of it! Most of my favorite movies and books have both action/adventure and this element of romance in them. But then I started asking myself why that is. I mean, why must romance be present for me to enjoy it more?
The answer was quite simple, actually. In her heart, doesn't every girl want a man that will rescue them sometimes? A man, that would 'walk through fire' just to be with her and to make her happy. Literally a man that she could ride off into the sunset with and live this so called 'happily ever after'. Now that I look at my life, perhaps this is really what I am searching for when it comes to finding a mate. Someone who will do "anything" for me, if I but do the same for them in return.
I suppose this is where we would ask ourselves "how do we measure a person"? Are we simply looking for the "tall dark and handsome" types, or do we look beyond that. What I seem to be looking for recently in my life, can be summed up by the lyrics to a song: "...Would he be your anchor when the dark unfolds? Will he always love you the best that he knows? Would he give his life up, to be all that he can. Is that, is that, is that how you measure a man?" August 16 Let's go abroadOne of my greatest dreams has always been to study abroad. Ever since I was a little girl, I have always wondered what it would be like on a different part of the country.
Growing older has only intensified this feeling.
It all started when I took French classes in my high school. Not only did I fall in love with the language, but have wanted to visit places such as: Monet's Gardens, Versailles, Paris, Tours... the list could go on for a while. For some reason different cultures have always fascinated me. Whether it is the language or the history, it amazes me where it all originates from.
I suppose that is why I appreciate the college/university setting so much. Because they offer the chance to go abroad. Although science will always hold a special place in my life, cultures are heritage will always affect me. Whether we can accept it or not, our heritage plays an important role in our life. This is why I would love the chance to learn more about other cultures.
Perhaps going abroad is in my future, but as I mentioned in a previous post, the future is something that we can only slowly move towards.
August 11 A square among the circlesLike most typical people, my mom tried to get me to play or do something music related. Now since I was the third child I was used to this concept by now. My two older siblings had been given their chance at the piano, with no success either. It didn't matter how much they practiced; they were destined to only play "Chopsticks" for the rest of their lives. I don't know whether my mom was sick of the piano or just sick of the song "Chopsticks", but both of them were immediately removed from lessons.
But she didn't stop with them. I honestly think that in her heart she thought that one of her children would be the next Beethoven or something. Therefore, me and my younger brother had to undergo this "torture". My brother, was definately not meant for the piano. Although his song was "Peter, Peter, Pumpkin Eater" instead of "Chopsticks". I however showed some hope of promise. But the promise didn't last long. By Jr. High/Middle School age, the "gift" had disappeared.
By this time all my other siblings had discovered their talent of having a spectacular voice. They were in all the big school choirs. Me, however, I wasn't "blessed" with this talent. I couldn't carry a tune for the life of me. So, following the Lisa Simpson example, I picked up the saxophone about 8 years ago.
So yes, I was the odd one. While all of the 'singers' were practicing the pretty music, I was being smart and sassy with the jazz. I suppose that is why I picked the saxophone. I am kind of smart, but definately can be sassy at times. I guess it is my perfectionist side getting the best of me.
Hence I was "the square among the circles" in my family.
But I am sure that you all have some musical talent as well...even if it is knee-slapping! August 04 Amist the Boxes of LifeWell, believe it or not, the glorious job of packing is once again before me. You would think that after already doing this twice now, the task would be easier, but it isn't. The stuff I own just seems to increase limitlessly. You might be asking if I am "pack-rat" by now, and I can honestly tell you I am not. I just "inherit" so much stuff!
For those of you with older siblings you know exactly what I am talking about. On top of buying new clothes for you, you inherit all of their old clothes. So over time your closet, instead of decreasing in size, only gets bigger!
My other "packing problem" is that I lack the skills of organization. I am great at organizing school stuff, but when it comes to packing up a ton (I mean A TON) of stuff I am lost. My solution? I simply just start throwing stuff in the suitcases. Does it solve the organization problem? No--but when I unpack if I don't need it I can always send it back home.
But if you were to ask me if I enjoy packing or unpacking more...I would have to say packing. Because unpacking takes time, especially if the place you are moving to is totally new to you!
I will try to post some pics of my new room this weekend! And just out of curiousity....if you could invent your own holiday, what would be celebrated and when would it be? July 28 I'm not dead...just humidified!Greetings once again!!!
I have returned from my last trip of the summer. It was a lot of fun, but the drive home almost killed me (16-17 hours). We didn't make it to Vancouver, but were able to visit Seattle and the Oregon Coast. It was a great trip. It has probably been 3 or so years since I have last seen an ocean of any kind...and it was saltier than I remembered!
But this being my first time in both Oregon and Washington, the trip was amazing. Of course on the agenda was The Space Needle, Aquarium, Pikes Market, Mt. Rainier, the Beach...and a lot of other stuff as well! I can now say that I am thoroughly exhausted! But I will have some pictures up by Saturday. They would be up today...but we just got home this morning and I am running on very little sleep. But one thing is for sure though, the HUMIDITY practically killed me. For those of you who haven't guessed it, Utah is a hot place, but it is dry. Washington isn't technically hot, just humid.
And for someone who lives in a DRY state, the change can be very weird!
July 14 A Genetic DisasterHave you ever been so nervous or worried about something that you have lost sleep or even lost your appetite?
Well, that is where I am right now. Believe it or not, I go back to school in roughly 3 weeks. Now although classes don't start for another month or so, I go back early to start my RA (resident advisor) training. And being an RA that means planning: activities for your floor, "decorating" your floor, learning how to handle the conflicts and learning everybody's name.
The name thing might not have be worried, but planning activities that people will like kind of does. I live in Utah, what great things could we do up here? And not to mention the fact that they will need to be cheap. So I have kind of been worrying about that.
But why do I loose sleep about it? I guess it is just a hereditary thing.
Here is a little something for your weekend humor...enjoy!
An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, so you're an engineer. We have plenty of engineers up here and we are pretty busy right now - you'll have to wait." So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is immediately let in.
The engineer quickly gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, he has installed air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is becoming a pretty popular guy.
One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and asks with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?" Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what our engineer is going to come up with next."
God replies, "What??? You've gotten an engineer? That's a mistake - he should never have gotten down there; send him up here at once."
Satan says, "No way! I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him." God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue." Satan laughs uproariously and answers:
"Yeah right. And just where are YOU going to get a LAWYER?" July 07 About the Stone Which is YellowFirst, I would like to thank MSN for the wonderful system errors they like to cause on my computer. I was going to post this entry while I was at work on Tuesday, but for 2 consecutive hours I recieved errors and wasn't allowed to sign in. I also wasn't allowed to visit any of your spaces! So although it is kind of a lousy excuse...that is my reason for not posting and not visiting any of your spaces on Tuesday. (Which I really wanted to do!!!) Now I just have a lot of catching up to do.
But about my trip...
We didn't leave my house until about 7:30 PM. And considering it takes 6 hours to get there, it was a really late start. So we got to the camp ground at 1:00 AM. And let me tell you. Trying to set up the camping stuff at that time, isn't something that I enjoy doing.
The next day we decided to take it easy. Nothing too much; considering we were all dead tired from the night before. So we browsed around in West Yellowstone, and went and saw a play. We saw The Foreigner. It was hilarious!
On Sunday, we made our way to Yellowstone. I saw every animal you are "supposed" to see, except A BEAR! Although the buffalo, deer, moose, geese, elk and pelicans were nice...I really wanted to see a bear! And yes, I saw Old Faithful! And yes, it is still pumping out a ton of water. But the one thing they don't tell you about Yellowstone...is how much it STINKS! Every geyser we walked by reaked of rotten eggs and other nasty things! So if you head to Yellowstone in the future...bring nose plugs!
And on Monday we made our way back to Utah. On the way back, we stopped at 'Bear Country', because we all really wanted to see a bear! And yes, I finally did see a bear.
Within the course of this weekend I was able to go to 4 different states! It is amazing what can be accomplished. I will be posting pictures soon! I promise. I just used a regular camera instead of digital this trip, so it might take me a bit longer!
So now I am off to relax a bit. And wait patiently for the new Harry Potter book to come out. Because yes, I am a big fan of the books! June 30 How faithful is it?With Independence Day weekend approaching, for those of us in the US, I couldn't help but think of all the excitement that is yet to come. For this weekend, my family, has planned another joyous family trip. I think family trips are my parental unit's idea of fun.
Sometime tomorrow we will be leaving to make our way to Yellowstone National Park. And being the true "desolate" person I am, I have never been to Yellowstone before. Yes, that is shocking I know! That means "Old Faitful", "Bear Country" and whatever else comes to mind...I haven't ever been there! So in a couple of days I will really be able to tell how "faithful" Old Faithful really is!
So that is where I will be this weekend. But what about all of YOU? I know you must have some fun plans. So tell me about them.
See you on Tuesday!
June 25 A Bosom Friend
Just yesterday, one of my closest friends and I got together after not seeing each other for 7 months. Now that may not be a long time to some of you, but for us, when we live technically pretty close (about 45 minutes away), it is kind of lame. I had moved away to go to school, while she had stayed home. I have always been the more outgoing one between the two of us. So last August, we departed our seperate ways and I moved 150 miles away. We didn't get together again until early December, mainly because of school/family commitments. So when we met up again yesterday, it was kind of like a reunion of types. According to her, we were celebrating my birthday (which by the way was 2 months ago) but better late than never! But it turned out to be a fun evening. It is amazing to me that even after all this time, she and I can still surprise one another. We can still talk to one another, almost as if no time has went by at all. I suppose that is why we have friends though. So we are able to be weird and goofy, with the benefit of knowing that they don't give a care! "A friend is a person with whom you dare to be yourself." --Anonymous-- June 21 "Anywhere you go, Let me go too"
Just yesterday evening, I was watching The Phantom of the Opera, the new movie that was just released within these past months. And although it is not my first time watching the film, after viewing it, my brain was just swimming in thought. Questions of love just couldn't seem to leave my mind. As many of you know, I have moved home for the summer (mainly because it is way cheaper aka FREE), and many things have come with this move. But just recently my parents have been bugging me about the relationship thing. According to my dad, "I am not having fun in my life, unless I have a boyfriend". Apparently being in college MEANS that you are suppose to have a boyfriend. And in case you haven't guessed it, no, I do not have a boyfriend. To me, love isn't something that was meant to be thrown out like candy at a Fourth of July Parade. It is special. So special that you search your whole life trying to find it. And when you do find it, you cherish it as long as you can. And as for my "vacation"... It went fairly well. Above all, I missed my bed the most. Or should I say my back missed my bed the most? But I will try to post some of the pictures I took soon! |
Remember when we were little and had absolutely no cares in the world? The days when playing in the fort in the backyard was the greatest thrill of a life time? Or when Barbies and trucks could fascinate us for hours on end? And when that 'best friend' was always the one you played with at recess. 
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