"For once you have tasted flight you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skywards, for there you have been and there you long to return." -Leonardo Da Vinci

 

It might shock some, especially in the day and age that we live in, that I have yet to fly on a plane.  It certainly is not that I do not want to fly or have a fear of it; rather, time seems to get the best of me and I becomed tied down for longer amounts of time. 

 

But it was after reading a post by Ron (Moroccan Dreams) that put the previous quote by Da Vinci in more perspective for me.  After we have experienced something truly wonderful, we long for it more.  Whether it be flying, visiting a different country or having a good conversation with a friend.  There is just something special that is formed on the "first helping".

 

Although it is impossible to "re-live" a moment, as nothing can be perfectly duplicated in history.  It is my experience that when something amazing does happen in our lives, that we seek to enjoy that moment again.  And even though we aren't "turning our eyes up" necessarily, we still are focusing on those special experiences.  Reviving the images in our head, creating mental pictures of when the experience did take place and wondering when we will get the opportunity to experience something of the same magnitude again.

"Mom, can I please get this?"  "No Kelsey, you don't need that."  "But I have been a really good girl!"...  Yes, I was once upon a time the kid that did the "aisle begging".  Am I sad that I did it?  Well, in full honesty, the answer would be both yes and no.  Yes, because I didn't really need the things that I asked for; but at the same time, no--I think I needed to test my mothers "patience levels"...(only for future reference of course!)

 

And although my mother, being her smart self, did not buy me this "necessity"; it was probably for the better.  I think she was simply trying to teach me a viable lesson.  When we grow up, we long for things that are simply "out of our reach".  Of course, technology advances making certain things easier to obtain--but in all honesty, just because someone really wants a hummer it doesn't mean that it is going to happen. (Unless of course out of pure luck...)

 

I grew up thinking I would look better with curls.  Was it something that I could logically obtain?  Well, with the right amount of money it sure could be done.  So of course being the "rebel" that I was, I lost my "virgin hair" and got it permed.  And it was then that I learned a pretty good lesson about life. 

 

We spend our lives really wanting certain things, it could literally be anything, and then when we get them it is almost as if we really didn't want it at all.  Sure the first few weeks of having curly hair were great, but after awhile I started missing the "old way" of life.  The way things used to work--when I could long for and not necessarily have the curly hair.  We tend to see things for "all of their glory" and forget the tasky things that come along with them.

 

A fancy car means that you will probably have a high car payment, higher insurance bill and perhaps higher gas bill.  Just as a bigger house means that you will increase the heating bills as well as the payments.  We live in a world where we constantly tell ourselves that "We would be happier if..."  I myself am even guilty of saying: "I would be happier if I were in a warmer climate"---but do I honestly know that?

 

Afterall, life might not be always getting what you want, rather, being happy with what you got!  And the question is, are you happy?

While growing up my mother always thought that I would make a good lawyer.  But now, I am sure she is wondering how she is ever going to handle having two engineers under the same roof.  A typical "homework help" session at my house consisted of one thing: argument.  Perhaps this is why my mother thought that the law profession was for me? 

 

Although sadly enough, the arguments I had with my father (the other engineer of the family) never had anything to deal with politics or law rather who had the right mathematical answer or the right concept idea.  Because for those of you who don't know, scientists, well, they kind of like to be right...and will debate and argue why they are right as well!

 

This debate skill has (much to my mothers avail and perhaps others as well) not left me.  You will still find my arguing with my friends when doing homework or having study sessions.

 

And now, as I look at the many friendships that I have formed and enjoyed over the years, I can't help but wonder if our thinking scheme is tied in direct correlation to our friend's thinking schemes.  We enjoy having friends that our on the same "brain level" as us.  This would of course allow for flowing conversations and better understanding between each other.

 

Think back to the last time you talked to someone young, and by young I mean under 8 years of age.  Did you talk to them any different than you would one of your close friends?  I certainly think (and somewhat hope) that you did.  You certainly couldn't ask an 4 year old what he thinks about politics as he/she is on a totally different "brain level" than you.  Therefore, is it possible that when seeking friends and "significant others" that we search for those that are indeed on the same "brain level" as us (or close to it)--this in turn leading to better communication?

 

Now perhaps it could be said that great minds certainly do think on the same brain levels, therefore making them alike........unless of course you are just lucky, than you are neither different or alike.....simply envied. 

When I was young, my mother to this day, still vividly recalls what it was like when I and the rest of my siblings went through the "terrible twos".  And no matter how many stories I hear her tell, one fact remains clear:  When I was little, I loved the two words "no" and "why".  I was the little girl who always asked the pestering "why questions" and said "no" when ever the thought of a nap was supposed to happen.  (Yet, now I wonder why I would deny myself precious sleep...)  :)

 

Currently, however, much to my mother's and my own surprise as well, you will rarely find me saying no to things.  Although I will still stand up for my values and own personal preferences, when the idea of volunteering comes along, I can't help but always say yes--no matter how busy my schedule currently is. 

 

The feeling of "out-doing" oneself or taking on more than we can handle and succeeding at doing it, is often associated with a sense of accomplishment--but if there is one thing that I keep on finding out, whether it be by my mistake or from others, it is that no matter how much we want to say "yes" to a situation; we need to remember to take time out for ourselves. 

 

No matter how much we take on, no matter how much we want to help or contribute......you are living your life--shouldn't you be taking some time out for "you"?  The farther I get in my studies, the more I am coming to understand that although helping others will always bring me joy and satisfaction, if I don't give myself time to simply do things that I want to do; then life seems to be wasted.  

 

Whether it be a week, day, or even a few minutes, if there is one thing I myself am going to strive to do more, it is to take a "time out" for myself.  And since this isn't basketball, hockey, football or soccer...I am going to be taking as many time outs as I would like.............care to join me? 

"Kelsey, I bet that you can't fit into the dryer."  "Wanna bet?"  Let me set the scene for you, when I was little, I was the gullible, over curious child; and my brothers used this trait to their advantage whenever they got the chance.  Needless to say, they dared me to fit into our dryer, and being the curious person I was...I did it!  Perhaps it was the effects of this event that jostled my brain into such a "wild tangent" thinking way; because yes, after I crawled in the dryer, my brothers attempted to turn it on...

 

It was after this experience perhaps that I developed a sense of "sassy-ness" and "wittiness"; there was no way I was going to fall into my brothers' trap again!  From that moment on I only developed farther into my unique sense of self; and whether it was for the better, I have yet to determine, however I can honestly tell you that I am pretty satisfied with myself.

 

Recently, someone mentioned to me a saying that not only will I never forget, but it will probably be posted on my wall.  It simply stated: "Well-behaved women rarely make history".  It is indeed interesting, if you look back into history, many of the big movements were started by people who were anything from the classified definition of "well-behaved". 

 

But what is it that causes one to stand up for what they believe in, in the first place?  I think often the term "bold" is associated with this trait.  One must have the courage to go "against the flow" and literally state what they feel and think...even if it is not the majority opinion.  This state of being, in my mind, is one that is apparent in everyones life at one time or another, but isn't constantly present. 

 

I think the important thing to remember in this issue is to be prepared to "face reality" when it hits you head on.  Because in the end "Right is right, even if no one is doing it..."--and if you can be the person defending what is right...perhaps one day, if you aren't already, you will make history.

What do you think of when you hear the phrase: "Never give up!"?  I think, for me at least, I often associate it with the idea of one always trying or persistance in general.  I was recently watching a show and one of the phrases from it made me curious in a way.  In it, one of the actors stated: "Just because something isn't "beautiful", that doesn't mean you should give up on it."

 

I think one of my favorite aspects about love, is that if you truly love someone, you can see past their imperfections.  Because lets face it, I don't think anyone of us could honestly raise our hand and say that we are perfect.  We are merely imperfect people striving for perfection...

 

Knowing this, it is interesting to me how our imperfections tend to classify us into different categories.  A people labeling system if you will.  (Jill could be known as the "English Major", while Ted is known as "that guy that is good at bowling".)  The question though, is simply, do these labels influence our actions toward others?  Although I would like to say that they wouldn't...I can't help but think that they do.

 

We tend to get along with people that are similar to us, so does that mean that they might, just might, "wear" a few of the same labels that we wear?  Not only that, but even our families wear a lot of the same labels as us.  Although all of us do have labels or attributes that make us unique, similarities make it possible to establish common ground; this in turn helps create friendships and bonds.  

 

So even though we all have different labels (qualities,attributes, states of mind...), this simply means that the world is a better place because of all the variety that is present.  If we all were exactly alike....wait, I don't even want to imagine what the world would be like if we all were alike!  (It is a frightening thought really...)  Because as a line from Dr. Seuss's tale states:  "Some had stars upon them, and they walked proud all about. But they soon learned it was okay with or without."

Most of us, well probably all of us, have been in a dark room before.  Now by dark room, I am not talking about the photography room, rather a room where all the lights are turned off and it is literally "pitch-black".  Now I am no cat, so chances are, if I haven't been in the room before, that I will be bruising some part of my lower body on "imaginary objects" that I didn't even know existed.

 

However, I have noticed it is when in that kind of situation, that my other senses become "alive", if you will.  I am sure we have all been blind-folded at some point in our lifes.  Have you noticed it is then that we rely more on our sense of "touch" more than ever?  Not only that, but listening takes a toll as well.  Because if our blinded walk takes place outdoors, we usually listen to make sure we don't go stepping in rivers, right?

 

This scenario is also present in our lifes.  A lot of the time, we are just fine, there may be hard times, but we make it through all right.  However, there come moments in which we really do feel "blinded" from the aspects of life.  (Ever heard the phrase, "Love makes you blind"?)  It is in these times of life when we really do become dependent on looking for other "signs" to help us get to certain places safely.  The problem merely lies in our perceptibility of picking up these signs when they present themselves to us.  Because if we aren't paying attention, then we are merely someone walking around lost, with a blindfold over their eyes.

 

We are often told to live life with "our eyes open", and I think that this could apply to every sense we have.  Not just the 5 main ones, but many others (i.e. sense of humor, kindness, love, compassion...).  Einstein once observed that one "who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead; his eyes are closed".  And if I could throw in a piece of advice, it would simply be to "Be Aware".  After all, we do need to be aware of our surroundings if we are supposed to be able to tackle them or even observe them for that matter.  Because if we aren't aware, we would simply be "bumping into objects", merely causing us to obtain more bruises...

If there is one thing I feel like I never have enough of it is that of time.  Even though I tend to run out of energy and wits...it seems that time will always be something I will never have enough of.  However, it is from this "nemesis" I have, that I have learned the ever prevelant motto of "Be Prepared". 

 

Throughout history, there are stories of the "motivational speeches" given to troops before they go off into war.  Words of inspiration. Encouragement.  Sometimes what we fail to realize is that every single person in scenes of such nature didn't get where they were by literally "doing nothing".  They put their abilities to the test, and had a background of such that allowed them to be present at that specific moment. 

 

"We've waited our whole lifes for this moment..."  I have often heard this phrase to describe graduations, weddings, birthday celebrations, or simple outings with loved ones.  It is amazing to me how much waiting goes on in life.  I suppose this goes hand in hand with time issues, but still.  I once found a saying that went: "Good things come to those who wait.  But better things come to those who hustle."

 

I suppose I could, in a way, adapt this to my own philosophy of life somewhat.  I always feel like I have to be doing something.  The idea of being bored, is definitely one that does not appeal to me.  But is there such a thing as being in too big of a hurry?  And along those lines, I must pose a similar question of is there such a thing as not being in a big enough hurry?

 

I know we say we should pace ourselves, enjoy life, take everything in we can...but what if by doing these things we are literally doing to much "waiting" in life or simply not enough "waiting".  Balance should undoubtedly be related in this topic somewhere; but I still wonder if by "stopping and smelling the roses" all the time if we are missing out on the other "flowers" in life, or whether we were simply destined to smell only the "roses".

Here I sit, thinking in my mind that Physics can only be applied to problems from a textbook.  Yet as I sat in lecture today, the professor said something that really struck me in a way.  Now why what he said impacted me, I probably won't ever be able to tell you.  Except for the fact that this is the last class of the day for me and it goes right through lunch.  Perhaps I was going on all sorts of wild tangents caused by tiredness and hunger, but this is what he said: "In life, we don't learn by watching!  We learn by doing!  I could sit up here and do a hundred problems for you and you would never learn a thing!  You need to go and try things for yourself and actually LEARN how to conquer the task!  If we were able to learn from watching, then all of us would be great athletes for the mere fact that we all watch so many sports on TV!".

 

As many of you know, there are many different kinds of learning styles.  I would like to define myself as a healthy mix between most, although I am a very conceptual person.  I love things that involve hands-on interaction, although can do fairly well with other concepts. 

 

If there is one thing I have learned after busting beakers and snapping glass pipettes in half, it is that you learn a lot of things in life by doing them.  Someone once told me that life is much like that of a "contact sport" of sorts.  It is after we make mistakes, and sometimes big ones at that, that we truly learn a lesson. 

 

I tend to think that the knights of old, although they were praised for all the "bad guys" that they conquered, had to have someone "show them the ropes".  Much like the movie, The Mask of Zorro, we need to be taught the ways to achieve greatness, and then with constant determination achieve our goals (and why not do it with a little style as well?).  I also can't help but think of the movie Drumline at the same time.  In it, the coach tells the drummer, "You have to learn to follow before you can lead". 

 

If any of you know the theory or idea behind most partner dancing, you know that in order to have a good team, you must have a partner that is willing to lead.  This drive to lead the dance however has come from a few things: passion for what you do, a will to look professional and of course, a background of knowledge from people who showed you how to take the lead.   Sometimes all we need in life is for someone to take our hand, and calmly say, "Take my hand, I'll lead the way" when we are afraid to try things for ourselves.

Our whole lives we are constantly searching for something or maybe even someone.  Now by searching, I simply mean that we are looking for something, or trying to obtain something.  Right now, one could say that I am searching for a degree and a PhD but at the same time, searching for a relationship that will hold true through the years.

 

When I was a child, I feel that I was mostly searching for answers and the feeling of "satisfaction".  Being a people-pleaser of sorts, I was the over achieving student.  Although I did some school sports, I mainly was concerned with academics.  By 6th grade, I was already taking classes that most wouldn't even attempt until at least 8th grade.  Academics had always been easy for me and it is still something that I feel that I excel in (at least on my good days...).

 

Something that still leaves me pondering however, is the idea of searching for a relationship.  Just recently I was having a conversation with a good friend of mine about relationships.  He asked me, "So Kelsey, do you have a 'man friend'?".  And when I told him no, he told me something that I probably won't ever forget while I am searching.  "Well, let me give you some advice.  Don't search for someone that you can live with; rather, search for someone you can't live without."

 

It seems that throughout the years, my searching really has changed depending on the given time frame.  And with every different search in our lives, comes different advice, and concerns.  I think the thing we must remember is this idea of "never giving up".  If you can't find what you are looking for, either change your "scenery" or simply get a new pair of binoculars. 

 

And although I would love to say that with every search, we find what we are looking for; but that would honestly be a lie.  There are no guarantees that we will find what we are looking for, however, we still must take the risk of looking and still simply trying.  Because often in life, we find what matters the most when we are NOT looking for it!

Our whole lives undoubtedly there has been a time when we have voted on something.  Whether it was concerning the government of a country or as simple as a student election of sorts.  The votes were than counted, and the winning party was determined by the majority of opinion. 

 

It wasn't until during one of my Jazz Band practices a few years back that I really realized the true meaning of the statement "power in numbers". 

 

When playing in a band like that, you would think that all that would matter is the fact that you knew how to play the sheet music.  That the other members in the band would be able to support you in a way.  This is where the idea of 'majority rules' comes to pass.  Four trumpets could definitely over power a single flutest.  Likewise--four really smart people would make an "average" person simply waste away.

 

However, what makes jazz and many other types of music unique is the fact that they have soloists.  Now I honestly can tell you that I know what it feels like to solo in front of 300+ people.  And it is from those experiences which I obtain the knowledge that numbers have no effect in some aspects of life.  Although I am just a single person, that doesn't mean that things can't be accomplished.  However sometimes the exact opposite is apparent.  I may have been a single saxophone player, but it is in those moments when numbers were against me, that I tended to shine the most.

 

It is where I obtained the nickname "Sassy Saxophonist" as well as a reputation for, as Jack Black would put it, 'Stickin' it to the man'.

 

One might argue to me that there really is power in numbers, much like the example of a protest.  To me however, I find that most of life literally depends on what you are fighting for.  I am often reminded of a line from the book Don Quixote which reads: "...to fight for the right, without question or pause.  To be willing to march into Hell for a Heavenly cause." 

 

But then I must ask the question:  Can a single person change the world?  Even if they are standing alone?  Perhaps they can--if they only but believe in themselves.

I have never been the type of person to cry much.  Have I cried?  Yes.  But do I do it often?  No.  One misconception a lot of people tend to think is that since I do not cry, that I am not sad.  When the exact opposite is actually the case. 

 

I tend to relate the emotional side of my life to that of a time bomb of sorts.  As bad things in life happen, as we all know that they will, I just lock it up inside of myself.  And eventually over time, as all of the emotions are bottling up inside me, I explode.  I simply just break down.  It seems that in these times of despair the only thing that can pull me through is either a really good conversation with a trusted friend or a good cry session.

 

Last year, as my mom was talking me through one of these, she told me that sometimes "all it takes is a good cry to make us realize what we should do--or to simply make us realize".  She was essentially implying that sometimes crying is good for us.  And even though crying is considered the "weak" emotion, I feel that it is vital in everyones lives. 

 

Many people don't like to be known for crying because, as I previously stated, it makes you appear weak.  And when has anyone wanted to appear weak?  I tend to think that I personally hide my emotions for the mere fact that I don't like to appear weak.  This is why we shouldn't just look at someone and assume how they feel. 

 

Emotions aren't just something that are expressed on the outside.  Usually, as a friend of mine pointed out to me, a lot of our emotions can be read in someones eyes.  Whether we realize it or not...everyones eyes tell a story.  Eyes, a common physical attraction between people ironically.  Is this because when we see in someones eyes how they truly feel that we have established a special connection or that in those eyes we know we will be accepted....wanted.....appreciated.

How many times in our life has a door been closed on us?  An opportunity, a chance, a relationship.  All these things can have a beginning and an end; even though we might not want them too.  But alas, we must press on, right? 

 

Although, we must remember that not all closed doors can never be opened again.  Sometimes we merely think that they are shut.  We tend to give up too easily, or take things at 'face value'.  I have come to the conclusion that a lot of these doors only remain shut, because we stop trying to open them.  We give up, and move onto another door.

 

Life certainly does have many doors, a lot of which are either already open or shut.  The nice thing about this is the mere fact that we in no way have an obligation to only go through "certain" doors.  We are given choices, minor and major ones.  But when we do not get let into certain doors of our lives, should we simply move on, as though that door meant nothing to us?  I find it hard to believe that most people can easily move on after such a moment.  I, myself, try to sit down and think about what I can do in a given situation.  Should I stay and try, once again, to get in a door?  Or should I see what else life has to offer?

 

Either way, I am still moving in life, but would it be smarter to take the 'easy way out' and simply move on?  What if a door was a job, a school or a major relationship?  Would I simply take no for an answer, and pretend like it didn't even happen? 

 

Another thought that comes to mind, is that of learning.  If we did accept the inevitable,  we have the chance to learn tactics which could in turn help us open several other doors.  And to me, the chance to open several other doors, is always a better option.  We have the chance to go and explore.  Explore untouched ground that might hold an unexpected future for us.  "A chance of a lifetime".

 

So the next time a door is shut on you, don't fret.  Accepting the inevitable is never easy, but somehow we must do it.  Life wasn't meant to be fair, and anyone who tells you different "is selling something". 

 

Rain.

 

One of many things that brings me pure bliss.

 

Ever since I was little, I have always been fascinated with it.  I would be the one sitting by the window, or out on the porch watching it fall.  It was always weird how such a simple thing, could bring such joy into ones life.  I don't know whether it is sound the rain makes, or just the way it smells (if someone made a 'fresh rain' air freshener, I would be all over it!)...I just love the rain. 

 

The thing about rain that is always amazing to me, is how after many hours of stormy weather, how a beautiful rainbow will appear after the storm calms.  We have all, most likely, experienced times in our life where we have what is known as 'the calm before the storm'.  When things are going so well that we forget how bad life can be sometimes, we are literally happy and 'can do no wrong'.

 

Then the storm hits.  We are tossed about, and wonder when, oh when, things will stop.  Why could life be so unfair?  What did we ever do wrong?--These are common questions that we seem to ask in times like this.  Perhaps instead we should be asking questions more like--Is my ship going to be strong enough to make it through?  Is there a lighthouse in which I can follow and direct myself too?

 

Why is it that when we are in the storms of life, all we can do is complain about being in the storm?  Shouldn't we stop to realize how beautiful the rain really is, even if it is causing us troubles?  Because alas, sometimes what seems like a trouble to us, can become a simple moment of grief, if we but find a light house to guide us in the storm.  A friend, a family member...someone who shows compassion for you, even when you are in the storms of your life.

Have you ever had an experience, or a moment in your life where you wish you could freeze time?  Just stop everything in order for you to enjoy that special second.  I know we probably have all experienced this at one time or another.  But surprisingly enough, it is in these 'extraordinary occurances' when time seems to go the fastest or in other words, 'time flys'.

 

Time is one of the only things that we can feel, but not see.  It is also something that is on our minds.  I probably look at a clock at least 50 times a day (most of these coming in the morning when I just can't get out of bed!).  Our world is run by clocks if you think about it.  Deadlines, work, school, activities with friends, meals...all of these revolve around a certain given time of the day.  And when we do things out of the 'given time frame' we are usually looked at pretty weird (like eating breakfast at 1 PM, which yes, I do).

 

One other essence of time is the mere fact of 'timing'.  We have all been timed at something in our life.  Whether it is how fast we can run the 100 meter race, or if it is how long it takes us to get ready in the morning, somewhere, sometime, we have heard the lines "Go faster!" or "Man you are fast". 

 

For some moments in our life, timing is everything.  The first example that comes to my mind is that of a choir.  Would a choir sound good if every person in it were singing different words and octaves?  I am afraid if that were to happen, only fans of Cecil Taylor would be able to understand it.  Timing is essential in this example.

 

Life wasn't meant to be run like a clock however.  There are certain aspects of our life, that happen at any given time for any given reason.  The hard part, or the thing you need to do, is figure out what that given reason is.

 

I once saw a poster that stated: "My plan is simple.  I like the best."  And in the background it had a picture of a Rolls-Royce and huge mansion.  I couldn't help but grin when I saw this poster.  It made myself ask the question: What kind of things do I like in my life?  Do I honestly just 'take what I can get' or do I wait for the good stuff?

 

Imagine, if you will, that you are at a buffet of sorts.  There are enormous amounts of food in front of you, every dish you can imagine.  The catch is, you only get one plate.  What do you choose to put on your one plate?  Do you stick to things you know and in a way can 'trust' to be good? Or are you willing to take a little of everything, although you might not like all of it?  Either way you are taking a risk.  By taking only what you know to be safe, you are probably going to missing out on a lot of other good things that there was to offer.  However, by taking a little bit of everything, you are opening yourself up for possibly some disappointment. 

 

So the question I will pose is simply this:  Is it worth the wait?  Should we push aside some of the opportunities life has to offer, in hopes that something better will come along?  I suppose this is where the idea of 'taking a chance' comes along.  Or taking the "leap of faith".  The truth is, we don't know what is going to happen, so why should we push something aside.  What we think are 'worthless opportunities' could turn out to be the best things that ever happened in our lives. 

 

Should we constantly be seeking the best things in life?  I suppose it depends on your perspective.  Because what seems like the 'best' to us, might seem like the 'worst' to someone else. 

"I'm telling you Kelsey, our thoughts really do determine our future..."  At first when my friend was telling me this, I was thinking 'no way', but then after I thought about it, it really did make a lot of sense. 

 

Imagine if you will, the state you are in when you are hungry.  Your stomach is usually "growling" and you are thinking about how much you would like some food.  Do these thoughts lead you to getting something to eat?  Or, in other words, are your thoughts the basis of why and what you are going to eat?

 

It is interesting to think about how much our thoughts really do influence our actions.  Of course I had some objections to this "theory".  Every person, whether they can admit to it or not, holds a bias of some sort.  It could be for the simplest reason too.  So to me, these opinions or bias's that we have, effect our future actions as well.  We wouldn't go around associating with things that bug or annoy us, would we?  Because if we did, it would be like having a rock in your shoe your whole life.  It doesn't kill us to have it there, but it will constantly bug us and be on our mind. 

 

Lately I have been talking about this concept of dreaming.  Would someone actually consider their dreams, their thoughts?  I would, but others might view these things as entirely seperate desires.   When I was young, I dreamt that I would go to college and graduate.  Now, I am going to college and even want to pursue a MS in Biomolecular Engineering.  So did my thoughts as a little girl get me to where I am today?  I would tend to think that they just might have. 

 

Yes, I can tell you that there are several other factors that play into the future of our lives, but our thoughts and attitudes are probably the most pivital.  The important thing to realize is that in order to change our future, a lot of time we simply need to change our attitude and thoughts.

Undoubtedly, our whole lifes, we have all had a pre-concieved notion of what the "perfect" male or female would look like or be like.  Several things in our life have helped us conceive this notion: media, family values, personal values...the list goes on after that.  No matter, every one of us, even to this day, imagines the "perfect" person.  Yes, even I am guilty of this.

 

But then I got to thinking, why do we even create these images in our heads?  Is it simply because as humans we are hard to please?  I would hope not.  I would tend to think that, since we know ourselves best (Didn't Plato say: "Know Thyself"), we 'dream' up the perfect person to fit our needs.  A person that will, quote un-quote, "be our prince/princess charming".  That, as most fairy tales state, will allow us to 'ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after'. 

 

Instead of "dreaming up the perfect mate", shouldn't we be looking for qualities that we want the other to possess, rather than a set image?  Because I hate to disappoint, but a girl who wears 5 inch heels and spends hours on her hair, probably isn't going to be the best cook in the world.  But on the other hand, a man who is intellectually smart; might not be the "Mr. Sensitive" that most women desire.

 

Might I suggest the idea of finding 'inner strengths'?  Whether we are aware of or not, everyone has a "super power" that they possess.  Now I am not talking about the ability to shoot flames or fly (although that would be really cool!), but other personal abilities.  Just recently, someone challenged me to try to find a "super power" in all the people I associate with.  Now this may sound like an easy task, but it is actually harder than it appears. 

 

You can't simply find this out by saying "Hi, my name is...".  You must take the chance to know the person.  And after you "know" the person, look at that person, as a whole, and determine what it is about them that interests you.  What makes you want to say 'Hi!' to them?  Once you figure this out, it is, to me at least, a lot easier to associate with this person in the future.  Not only this, but a lot of "pre-concieved notions" leave our thoughts.  So no longer are you searching for that "Prince or Princess Charming", but rather someone who you find interesting and fun to be with.

 

All you need to do is....."Appreciate more than you expect." -Mary Ellen Edmunds-